Tharr She Blows

Wednesday night, I met up with this girl and her friend to watch the game at a bar. One of them is a cute little blonde, and her friend is a tall, not so cute girl with a side lisp. Kind of reminds me of a pirate for some reason, but she had some big titties though. When I got there, they were already a bit tipsy. After a few rounds of tequila shots we were all a little buzzed, so we ordered a couple more. After those, the nips started poppin out and they started making out, so I ordered another round.
At this point, the blonde was showing off her new nipple rings to half the bar, and her friend the pirate, who was barely understandable before, paid the whole tab. She started babbling something about going back to my place to have some fun. But all I could think about was, "fuck if I knew she was paying, I would have ordered more."
We got to my room, the blonde went to the bathroom. I forgot to mention that my sink is broken, and sprays a strong pressurized flow of water straight at the user. A second later, I hear her scream, and walks out soaking wet. It wasnt too hard to convince her to take her clothes off.
So im sitting between the two of them, one naked, one im hoping will keep her clothes on, and we're watching TV. I look over, and the blonde is passed out. I look the other way, and the pirate is rubbing my thigh. I thought to myself, "O man, I dont wanna touch this bitch, she better not lean in for a kiss." So i busted the good ol, "pretend to be passed out" trick, but she kept rubbing my cock, which wasnt so bad.
She started screaming at the blonde, trying to wake her but she was snoring at that point. Then, Im pretty sure she said, "Shes gonna wake up soon, Ill just give you some head." Then again, she could have said I'm going to bed" but either way I took my pants off. She put it in her mouth, so Im pretty sure i guessed right. She gave a pretty good blow, and I actually passed out with my pants down on the couch.
A minute later Im awakened by a slap in the face, the pirate screaming at me. "You fucking asshole, why didnt you warn me about the sink? It sprayed me right in the face!" She was completely soaked.
"Haha, yee. Guess thats twice in a row you get squirted."

I dont usually get into these situations, but it was a spurm of the moment kinda thing.